Recent Little joys
from backyards to bolts of fabric
Morning darklings,
Lately, I've been waking up earlier. My mind and body are slowly remembering what it's like to start the day with words and creativity while the Smalls and the hubs are still asleep, while the world is still quiet and not even the neighbor is rattling around yet. At first, I was annoyed by this. I wasn't ready. My mind wanted to be mushy, playing tap games and doing nothing for an hour before I crawled out of bed. But then I tried to be the person I was, if only a little. I wrote. I outlined a thing. It's dark and sticky and visceral and begs for my attention. It promised to share time with the non-fiction thing. It promised to allow me to work on the house projects and sew with the sumptuous fabrics I just bought on a trip around town with a friend that saw me flat on my back the day after. But it was there in a way a thing hasn't been in a while. Lots of things are always there, always waving and calling my name. They are mostly like annoying kids on a playground, though. Easy to ignore because they're just showing the same thing over and over again. It's a cartwheel that hasn't gotten better, sliding down the same slide. The things haven't moved the needle, my creativity isn't being stimulated by them. But this one is different and weird and mucky. We'll see.
But it's brought me a Little joy just moments before I sent this out, so that says something.
Anyhow, it's focus on Little joy o'clock today. From words to ashtrays to estate sales, I've been working on gratitude and not being swallowed whole.
At a recent event at Salon Rouge, we brought some of our recent work to share or sell. A woman who goes by Mary McVodka gave me one of my favorite zines of all time. I took a photo of my favorite page. I'll be turning it into a magnet soon. (I'm really into magnets right now.) I met another woman, Noël, who writes poems based on words you give her. Her share was a mini poem in leu of a business card. It's now on my wall. Colton Merris gave me two of his and Daniel Dagris' zines on my way out. You must check them out. Even the artwork on the front is gritty! Monica Drake and I swapped books, because we haven't read each other's work somehow. In just a few hours, many lovely people and good conversations splashed into my life. It's one of my favorite events of the month. And thanks to that, I went home and made some ransom note poetry that will be tucked alongside issues of The Little Periodical on occasion (the first one went out with this last issue). So, I guess only a handful of people will see them for a while. Maybe, like TLP, I'll do a complication of them at some point too. But for now, they'll just be surprises for those who want some analog mail from me.
My new ashtray. Next up: a cup of milk for the lighter, a bathtub and maybe sink?, tree stumps, and a piece of lettuce. One for every room. Pain relief should look cute, even when it can get gross.
Le first walk with the kids. The backyard's a jungle when you're small. It was a long 15 minutes of wandering around in our little fenced-in yard—swapping with the hubs halfway through for the more cautious Moon Spoons because Ms. Active Rory was just TooMuch™ for me. They were thrilled by the newness, we were happy by how excited they were, and the squirrels screamed to each other just in case we were bad parents and let them loose while they were snacking under the big front yard tree. We would never.
A three hour nap claimed me less than ten minutes later. Hashtag worth it.
Fabric shopping is my new favorite thing maybe. It's so delightful. Like a dopamine hit by looking and touching things. Feeling silk and discussing designs to make, imagining outfits so impractical one couldn't wear them to Coachella, deciding if 1 or 2 or 3 yards are needed (or any at all), laughing that anyone thinks making clothes from bolts of fabric is cheaper than buying, learning, coming home with full projects, the starts of projects, and photos of new projects once funds hit bank accounts, and doing it all with the brilliant up-and-coming author Rose Wilde-Hall of Atelier Rose who designs and makes everyday wear, custom clothes, and elaborate costumes regularly? It's all as luxurious as the $90 a yard silk chiffon covered in crystals I want to lounge in.
Trying a traditional Gaelic recipe just in time for Beltane—Bannocks and blueberry lavender jam!
Last year, the hubs and I went to a lilac festival and brought home a sweet lil plant. They said to expect a few blooms this year. Over the next few years, we'd see a lot. Well, she's thriving and smelling perfect as if it's year four! Without meaning to, the hubs has staggered beautiful scents in the garden—the lilac comes first, the star jasmine and the heliotrope will come around the same time, the lavender following on their heels and staying a little while longer, with the fuchsia coming and going and they please.
Step one of these lil paper beads are done. They are made from test prints of The Little Periodical. There are pretty colors or patterns, some have faces or parts of, others say fuck or Dear Valentine. I still don't know if I'll make them bracelets or keychains or earrings, but they'll be in the shop by Autumn in whatever form they take.
This whole account.
These pillows. Magical, sheer, out of my price range as they are, in my price range if I make them. I must create them as I re-do the house. It's slow, and the projects are mounting, but it's happening.
AND THEN SOME (that don't come with photos at the moment)
—Watercolor painting with leftover blood from a blood draw
—Making wallpaper with anthropomorphic vegetables
—Scrolling through a bead website while designing forever plants
—$1 clothes from a spontaneous estate sale (some are perfect fits, others will be great with a little work, and two pieces are just fabric swatches)
—Milk oolong with a wonderful friend named Simone when the morning was still a little chilly
Your turn, darklings! Leave me a comment with a Little joy you've had recently! I need more reasons to smile.
Until next time, harness the Little darknesses and embrace the Little things.
