PFCAT after notes

Morning darklings,

I met Marisa Cohen online. Or more accurately, she introduced herself to me through Kickstarter DMs the first week Claw Machine's campaign went up. It was just a hi, hello, we are both doing a thing and local.

We started talking and it turned out that she was the program director of a film festival, Portland Festival of Cinema, Animation, & Technology (PFCAT for short).

I'd screened for films before, so she asked me if I would do it for them. It was so much fun. I watched animated and non-animated films of all lengths, music videos, AI-created shorts. There was a ton of discussion around quality in animation, acting, and story, and which mattered most for a festival such as this. We talked about the benefits and disadvantages in including something made from AI (completely or just aided by)—it's technology, but the aspect of stealing must not be overlooked. It had been a long time since I'd been in this space, but it felt like home.

For PFCAT 2026, she asked me if I'd do it again. Obviously, I did. I scheduled full days to binge and review films from across the world. It was magical.

I can't go to movies in the theatre anymore. This is a particularly painful blow as most of my working days were film related. I worked at four movie theatres in the span of 8 years and on movie sets for 6 years (there was overlap, so many years were saturated with watching, making, and discussing movies). But I realized this could no longer be a part of my life when I was at Living Room Theater waiting a weird A24 movie and my spine shifted in four places as the final scene boomed and reverberated through my body. Standing to leave took almost five minutes. I didn't fully recover for a few weeks.

So working on PFCAT has also been a gift in that I couldn't see these films in any other way—not just the ones that wouldn't make it, but the ones that did.

When the festival came, Marisa told me there were a lot of events. They would be fun, social things. I looked into them, and decided to go to three: the opening night party, a talk put on by Matthew Inman (otherwise known at The Oatmeal), and a group talk put on by LAIKA.

There were more events (a lot more), but I was already leaving the house Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. To get dressed up, drive into Portland, be social, sit in a seat that I knew wouldn't be the best, then drive back three days in a row was a lot.

But this happens only once a year.

Event #1:

The opening night party was at Wonderlove, full of neons and a breeze that nearly froze me to death. My dear friend and triple threat Angelique O'Rourke joined me, looking fabulous. We ended up spending the night talking about every topic in the world (as we do) instead of mingling. It was really nice to have a reason to dress up and laugh and do something new. I just bought a whole new wardrobe after all.

Event #2:

Angelique also joined me for The Oatmeal's talk the next day. PFCAT nailed this. What a solid choice for a person to give a talk. It was hilarious and chaotic and manic, which was so highly relatable. He (Matthew Inman) talked about his comics, upcoming book, love for dung beetles, creating and making and selling his franchise Exploding Kittens. At the end, he showed his new short film My Dog: The Paradox. It was funny, tender, and made me cry at the end. Afterward, I hung back. The line was long to get his autograph on a poster or have him draw something for you. I just wanted to tell him he was funny and that Angelique said he was like my brother or male counterpart—following whims and deep diving whatever brought him joy, giving zero fucks if the genre fit expectations of him. So I spent about an hour and a half in a chair nearby, chatting with Marisa. I decidedly don't wait in lines that aren't absolutely necessary. I can't stand that long.

When I went up to tell him the thing, he asked if I wanted a drawing. I told him yes—whatever he felt like. He said he'd been drawing cats all day, so he wanted to draw a dung beetle. He messed up where the leg was, he said. It was one of the few times he'd drawn one, though he's got a bit in his upcoming book about them. He turned it into a mythical thing, adding parts that don't exist but are objectively amusing. As a thank you, I gave him some stickers I'd made. Because I don't know better, I'm going to imagine he's put them somewhere interesting.

Event #3:

Another dear friend and creative Erin B joined me to see LAIKA chat about their processes and their upcoming film. I had a great time with Erin (and we looked fabulous). She's always great company. We were let in early because disability, and chatted while everyone got settled. It was lovely.

The talk itself was interestinge, filled with behind-the-scenes info. As someone who wants to make a stop motion film more than one can explain, it was very fascinating to see how the sausage was made, as it were. The Q&A portion was the only letdown. But that’s the audience’s fault. They seemed to all be hoping for jobs, asking how to break into the industry and how the application process works. I'd have loved to hear questions about content and choices and materials, but ce la vie.

Okay, this should be the part I move to the films. But wait, there's more.

Event #4:

Whoa, I said three. But...

I was invited to go to Hopscotch to hang with the directors and animators. I couldn't say no. Okay, I suppose I could have, but I didn't want to.

PFCAT had snacks that I hoarded for the hubs and drinks I thought were pretty waiting for the animators and other people that were mingling and wandering around. There were also bunnies tucked throughout Hopscotch to collect. Five and you get entered in a contest. Very delightful.

I chatted with many filmmakers. At some point, a director/standup comic overheard me tell another person I hadn't collected enough bunnies because I came late, so he gave me his. I won the first raffle prize (like, what?). Of course I split it with him. Also, a woman came up to tell me the way I accepted my prize was iconic. (There was hollering from the back, so I assumed I heard the number wrong. But then they repeated the number, and I realized it was me. Not standing, I just said, "Oh, I think that's me." Apparently, being nonchalant and fatigued is in now in. I like that for me.)

Hopscotch itself was cool, but I'm glad it was empty for me to roam. With people, it would have been a sensory nightmare. As it was, I got to enjoy the parts I wanted to and leave the rest. Good times were had all around.

Volunteering:

How could I?

Some stop-motion animators brought their props to show off. Sometime earlier in the week, I offered to make a few print out signs and bring some cute boxes for them to prop things on, if needed.

Eons ago, people who showed up for me. They wanted to make sure my work was showcased. I felt loved. A few years ago, Erin B threw me a party for my book We Used to Be Different to showcase my miniatures. I felt loved. It doesn't have to be a full party or a group of people involved, but people saying, hey, this matters and I want it to look nice for you is important and feels good.

I was just paying it backwards and forwards. Or just forwards. Forward? Am I British? Hm.

So I went, took stuff, did too much, hurt my back, the usual. There is a reason I cannot volunteer or work on the regular, but they got their moment to shine, so it was worth it.

I left early to go sleep because that night I had...

Event #5:

I know, I know.

By this point, I was walking dead, on the verge of a CFS relapse, the whole 9. I'd left the house Tuesday through Saturday (and twice on Friday with a four hour nap in between events). I was on some many drugs my mouth was gummy. But this was the last one I'd go to, and I knew I had days after to crash.

Angelique met me at the Juniper Hotel—a really cute spot—and we enjoyed a nice night. She pointed out I looked like a soft butch being dragged out by her femme girlfriend because of how tired I am in the photos (also, in many you couldn't see my pants which brought the femme). Twas funny. We spent the night talking to each other and people from the festival, and it was delightful.

Needless to say, the next few days were a blur—me in and out of sleep, catching up on some films I hadn't seen but met the animators of, and being highly drugged.

No regrets. Personally, I can't wait for next year.

Films:

I watched 88 films. The number of entries they had was insane, so they divvied them between the screeners to get many opinions.

I am going to share with you some of my favorites. I will also share some of the ones I'm still looking forward to seeing that I missed. The film festival had almost 175 films, and only 29 of the ones I've seen made it in. So, I'm at a deficit.

In no particular order, here were my favorites:

Mariposa by Brook Vitovsky (selected)

Playing God by Matteo Burani (award winning)

Princess Dina Bo Bina by Ashley Johnsgaard and Ella Hiebert (nominee)

A Man Who Takes Pictures of Flowers by Yoo Lee (award winner)

My Dog: The Paradox by Matthew Inman (selected)

The Worm's-Eye View of the Bird by Karen Zipor (nominee)

Church Hat by Miceál O’Donnell—book by Debra Williams (nominee)

MRI by Dougal Vecqueray (selected)

Tales From Outer Suburbia by Noel Cleary, Shaun Tan, Lally Katz, & Sam Carroll (award winner)

At Night by Pooya Afzali (nominee)

And a running list of to-watch films:

Wizarding Woes (I had a fever dream that I saw it, but I only saw the puppet in person and talked to the director), What They Say About Carmen, Two Ships, Song of Shell, She Whom the Moon Ruled, Paper Daughter, Mobius, Displaced Embers, and Sligo Water Horse

And because I can, here are my favorites films from last year:

Brain Space by Laura Tofarides (award winner)

Freshwater by Olivia Wilyman (selected)

Two Black Boys in Paradise by Baz Sells (award winner)

The Apricot by Alex Z. Avila Alex Z. Avila (award winner)

Help Me Tom by Jiahang Yang (nominee)

Zombie Safari - We Will Be Animals by Joanne Lin (award winner)

Westinghouse Atom Smasher song "Somebody Else's Country House" by Lindsey Shaw (selected)

The Clamor song "Staircase Stomp" by Aaron Louis (nominee)

Goos'd by Heeyun Chung (selected)

*NOTE: the "by" is either director or writer or how the filmmakers listed it themselves.

Until next time, harness the Little darknesses and embrace the Little things.