Complacency & buying stuff
On noticing and shopping
one more week of no recording. I did it, then I tinkered but had zero energy to re-record.
Morning darklings,
A big part of my realignment is looking at all the ways I've become complacent. This means noticing how irritated I get when I reach for the lids of my mason jars two to three times a day and asking myself why are they here, then doing something about it. This means realizing a cluttered desk and a chaotic art cart and an overstuffed and unfinished creative room stuffs my head with cotton and keeps me from myself, then doing something about it.
As a shock to no one, I came to the words around this while talking to a friend of mine the other day. The best insights, the best clarity comes from long conversations with the hubs, my therapist, and good friends. And so.
I was telling him about how it's true what they say about throwing money at a problem. Sometimes it works. I'm finding that throwing money I'm earning from consulting directly at my displeasure helps a lot. But without the verbiage to explain why, it felt like mindless capitalism. I didn't like the idea that I was just buying things. It's not that I need to justify my choices to others, but I like understanding my reasons.
I'm procuring thoughtful items that fix problems or fill in needs. They add to the aesthetic design in the style I choose, sure, but I'm not justing getting more tchotchkes. New-to-us chairs at an estate sale to replace ones with that hurt to sit on, a retractable clothesline so I can use the hallway curtain rod for its intended purpose, towels on sale because many of ours are starting to hurt my skin, a circular saw to truly do-it-ourselves, copper pipe to make a ladder for not-quite dirty, not quite clean clothes, an on-sale rug because slippers aren't always enough. The things I'm getting for free even have a purpose.
It's so wonderful, really. I am helping someone publish their book and making my day-to-day more manageable. I like that my shoulders don't have to work as much just because I am still on a mostly blended food diet, that I've found some tools that work with my executive disfunction instead of against it, that I can sit on all of my chairs for more than five minutes. Darklings, I even got a desk mat. One I designed. It's literal magic. My hand doesn't press on the wood when I type, and I feel really inspired looking at my own work, which feels kind of insane given how resistant I've been to even having my own art up for so long (photos soon).
This feels like a spoke of the what's next wheel. Consultations, that is. No more than one client at a time, no more than 2 hours a week, but consulting is on the menu.
After all, complacency has crept into many aspects of existence, and I'm ready to buy, claw, make, scratch, create, dig, and invent my way out of all of it. The mental traps? Well, those I have therapy for.
Until next time, harness the Little darknesses and embrace the Little things.
Your turn: Do you all find yourself in loops of complacency? Are there easy wins around your house you can fix today or tomorrow that you just haven't for brain reasons? Can you do them and report back? Brag about getting a basket for the foot of the stairs to carry your duds in so your arms stay clear. Share your I did the things in the comments or hit reply. I love hearing from you. (And thank you to all who respond every week. You make me so happy!)
A thing of note & a reminder
P.S. You have until the end of the month to get this upcoming issue of The Little Periodical! I have a bunch of new subscribers, and I'd love you to be one of them!
